EVE of NYE...

I am in an extremely good mood! Early outing with friends, Jazz, B-day celebration and then late night dance fever!!! 'Tis my type of dayyyyy! =)

Kicking 'round the web and found this remix... gives it a happier feeling =)

The Sounds of VTech / Think It Over (Exile Remix)   

Is it just me, or does something about the remix remind you of this...? Could just be me though. I've had a "dance fever" mood since Monday so, yea lol

YOU THOUGHT I WAS RANDOM BEFORE?! LOL BEWARE OF ME; BE VERRRYYY AFRAID, BECAUSE I WON'T BE ACTING IN FEAR! LOL!!! STARTING WITH SKYDIVING IN PR!

Think it Over...

Him: Sooo... I'm no good at dating. I know how to have a fucking relationship. I know how to be friends. I know how to be in a relationship. I don't know how to be in between.

me: Yahhh...me either. Because either I'm investing, or I'm not. PERIOD!

Him: exactly. now i gotta listen to Bilal "levels"

me: lol

**Ladies, if you don't have platonic male friendships to balance out your crazy female friendships... I feel sorry for you! SERIOUSLY! My close male friends put things into perspective for me, and I go to them when I need a testosterone push! Anyway, "Levels" wasn't my thing this morning, but "Think it over" was.**

The Son’s Call to Internal Inquisition

So what does that mean? The moment I found out what this epiphany could do to the ego... Make it vanish and evaporate? All in a desperate attempt to relinquish this emotion? I stepped outside myself for once and failed. Ego looks slightly, never completely facing me, to laugh at my misfortune... “Ay Dios mio, su tanto corazone” Expected more from you than self, forced the first among many wrong steps on that dead ending road. Take out the "but" and you have a less than pleasing reality, deal with it. I looked to my right and decided it was time to replace that old crown. Bring a new vision to my manifest destiny, but not in an attempt to plow all those in my way. This one sang glorious songs of progression and growth. Breathe life into goals and ideals set aside specifically for me by the Almighty.

Special; just for me, set aside by the Almighty.
Envisioned a new route. A new way. A new day. A new dawn. Same Son though, this one has never let me down. It continues to nourish my crops, the failure only comes when I neglect my field during the season of reaping. In acknowledging The Son, he adorned me with a new crown. I don't believe my mind is good enough for this. He nestles it comfortably on my head and reassures me that his light shines only for vividly accurate visions. "I'm never wrong."

*Expressions by Nina B.*

Dear Mr. Tooth Fairy...

Last night I had a dream that my teeth were falling out. Nothing abnormal about that for me, at one point I was having them often, but this one was different. Normally when my teeth are falling out in dream land it's from something violent, like falling down the stairs. After I fall, my teeth shatter and I wake up. The End! Fin! But not last night...

This dream was different in that throughout the dream I was fully aware of my teeth falling out. I would run my tongue across them in expectancy because they were so loose and bloody. All the while, I was going through my dream doing normal true-to-life activities. Shopping with my family, meeting up with friends and being quite the social butterfly.

Did my teeth ever fall out you ask? Yes, they did... I went to the bathroom while shopping and saw them fall out then slide around in the porcelain sink. I didn't wake up immediately; on the contrary, I continued to dream and new teeth grew back brighter than ever!!!! Ta-daaaa!!! It's like Houdini came and decided that this time, this one particular time, my experience would be pleasant. I would have been excited if they grew back diamond studded! I'm beaminnggggg snitchessss! lol <-----sarcasm!

At any rate, I always thought teeth falling out in dreams was tied to vanity until someone told me it meant I was holding back a secret. Well, if the latter is the case, I know exactly what it's about. To prevent myself from having this dream again, I'm going to type a letter for someone and instead of sending it to them, I'll send it to myself! BOOM! Problem solved! I'm keeping this secret; I refuse to let it spread like a virus, so hopefully reading my thoughts will end this stupid thought process! Wish me luck!

Peace...

Nina B.

Merry CHRISTmas!!!

Not much to say beyond the obvious! I'm beyond thankful for my blessings and for the greatest gift of all; SALVATION! As my family continues to embrace this winter wonderland, my mother retreats to the basement where I am, to tell me my cousin is coming over. She has tears in her eyes, and without her saying a word, I know what she's thinking.

Me: Teresa?
Mom: Yes, I just didn't want Chris to see me cry.
Me: It's ok, I've cried all week. I understand.
Mom: **silent nod**
(we laugh about a few other things before she heads back upstairs)

Today is bitter-sweet. We are mourning the loss of my cousin, almost 6 months exactly from today, but welcoming the closeness it's forced upon us all. I ask of anyone reading this, that you pick up the phone and call the one person that crossed your mind, but you have yet to contact. Don't wait... time is of the essence, and the essence is now!

With that being said, I am blessed! I have friends and family that I wouldn't dare trade for anything in this world! My journey is not always what I want, but it's always what I need! God has NEVER failed me, even when at THAT moment I felt he did, it was all for my good and inevitably for HIS Kingdom! If you are a friend, know that I am thankful for you! If you are family, know that I am thankful for you! lol and if we only cross paths occasionally, know that I am thankful for you too! I am you, and you are me! **Insert insanely large grin**

Peace, and blessings!

Nina B.

A hustler... of sorts!

"I'm a hustler. My hustle is trying to figure out the best ways to do what I like without having to do much else." ~Mos Def

So, today I marched on a path I'd been tip-toeing on for years! Did I say years?! I pride myself on providing loved ones, and even strangers, with positive reinforcement. I believe, however, that it's about time I push myself to be my best. Let's see what happens!

Indigo Charlie

Happy Hump day folks! Have you beaten your yesterday yet? =)

Anywayz, I stumbled upon this today while going through Clutch's site. I loveeeee the hair! I always think my hair is too wild when it gets that big, but she rocks it very well! She's Solange's personal assistant, and if you know me, then you know I'm a fan of that. YES... I would take Solange over Bey depending on the day! Solange has hella soul and does it for the art, not the machine.

Back to Indigo Charlie, that name is lovely to me because it combines my Gradpa's name and one of my favorite word colors. Yes, the word "indigo" is a favorite word color, right up there with magenta and coral. The video, I love it; it does a great job of capturing the back and forth of some relationships. As I blink my eyes, is that kid from the movie "Holes"? lol...The song is pretty dope as well. She reminds me of Lykke Li!

Peace... Nina B.

Morning Bell...

Middle of the night, well at least for an early-to-bed and early-to-rise person like me, and I can't sleep. As cliche as this sounds, I want to tell you in my best Kanye West voice, "these dreams be keeping me up at night". I won't expose my heart, because out of it flows my spring of life, but know that I have written it on a tablet and made it plain. Another scripture on my brain is, "without vision the people perish". I apologize to anyone that thinks I'm speaking in code; because I am, kinda like Nina-isms as a few of my friends call it. My personality tends to be very random, but when I set my heart and mind like a flint to something, my tunnel vision is impeccable! The ooooonnlllyyy issue I have with being in this mode is that my stomach switches to it as well. When my emotions heighten, one could easily be led to believe my stomach is trying out for the olympics: long jump, high jump, sprints, long distance, hurdles and shot put. At any rate, as I lay in my dark room, no light except for the glow from the windows emitted by the street lights and the bright light of my blackberry, I am thankful for a vision. I am also thankful, in advance, that God will fulfill it. Ohhhhh you thought I lay awake in nervousness? *chuckle*

Morning Randoms: 12.13.10

"If you see or hear goodness from me/Then that goodness is from The Creator/You should be thankful to The Creator for all of that/'Cause I'm not the architect of that/I'm only the recipient/If you see weakness or shortcoming in me/It's from my own weakness or shortcoming/And I ask The Creator and the people to forgive me for that" - Mos Def

"But you hate one another because each of you deems himself too great to be the brother of the next man." K.Gibran

"Man would dream [Jesus's] dream but he would not wake to [Jesus's] dawn. Which is his greater dream." -K.Gibran

"You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours because when you step out to face that creature, you will step out alone." -Alice in Wonderland

Side Note:

• Yes, I realize how random those all are; that those sources aren't normally seen together. If you know my randomness, then you get it. Otherwise... **shrug**
  

Bookmark

That picture of us, black and white in color, but filled with the vivacious auras of joy, laughter and love. I see them clearly. I think I see flickers of hope sprinkled sparingly throughout, but I realize now it wasn't saturated enough to keep it going. Yep, that picture, the one you always wanted copies of; I use it as a bookmark now. Not sure of the significance. I decided it was a wise, unselfish and loving decision to let you go, but I'm not sure why I haven't locked that picture away in my trunk filled with past treasures. I know fully that I can not ask God to release the treasures he's stored up for me, while holding on selfishly to someone else's.
Back to the subject at hand: the bookmark. The wanderlust in me will forever be a bag lady for books: three in the purse, two in the trunk of my car, and that's just what I can recall right now. Flipped through the pages of one, on to the second and cracked open the third, only to see that thread of pictures. I scan each one like it's anew. I've always liked how picture booths can do that, innocently capture fleeting moments, feelings, and emotions that would otherwise go unnoticed. Anyway, in spite of my renewed awe, I decide that I need to purchase a new bookmark today.

*expressions by Nina B.*

My Randomness...

This song makes me feel like I should be dancing in the kitchen cooking paella or inside a sexy tapas bar having sangria (white being my favorite) with my closest friends =) It makes me happy! Can't wait for Puerto Rico in January... much needed getaway!

To be continued (pt. 1)

Cold winters force a slow and steady pace. Thoughts scurry in and out the brain's loop. Holes. Less sunshine doesn't mean less light. On the contrary, it calls for a retrospect of sorts. Sometimes I feign to be shallow, think less, have less headaches and accept lies shipped out by society as they freight in on the railways of everyday life. Not really confusion, no... Not at all confused. Simply a search for enlightenment that won't cease. The paradigm begs to shift as my subject positioning remains. I am now more equipped to handle the vast array of information presented to me and sort it appropriately. The person within pulled the cord... "stop requested". Hold for a moment as I battle the paralysis...

*expressions by Nina B.*

Sun is Always Shining =) ... even when it's cold out!

"When the morning gathers the rainbow/ Want you to know I'm a rainbow too"

'08

Ok, so this wasn’t suppose to happen.
Now what?
That moment in time when every THING stands still, and what would seem completely bad turns out not to be (so much). Unnecessary memories fade, you only see today and flashes of tomorrow...next week... next month... next year... the following decades. There’s beauty in this! There’s beauty in this! There’s beauty. In this.

Epiphanies blossom.
Realizations emerge.
Embodied moments.
Regrets denied.
Defeats NOT accepted.
Triumphs indeed.
Non, je ne regrette rien
Endings end.
Beginnings begin.

Thank you for this chance, I owe you more than I know!
Turning point.
*Expressions by Nina B.