Freezing Rain

Through the window I see it fall steadily. Rhythms beat against the pavement, calling to my soul. Refreshed. The sun peaks through clouds. I watched; wondering how it would feel against my face. Embraced the memories of dancing in summer rain and stepped out in hopes of this time doing the same. Is it misleading or did I misjudge?

**words by Nina B.**

2010...

So Late, but I was directed to Video: LaTonya Givens [The Making Of Act II] and just had to dive further into this voice! Amazing! Check out the mixtape below but make sure you check out the video link!



Peace!

Nina B.

Beyond This Moment

Stationary. Momentary. Beyond this point my vision expands and unfolds to a vast array of opportunities. Open variations. Must. Focus. On. One and then move along. Roads end and begin, again... It's all repetition. I am more than today. I forgot my yesterday, but it haunts me to stillness. Late nights I feel myself whimper. Snow covered roads don't mean the road isn't there. The plowing makes me appreciate the road more. Spring arrives and gives way to blossoming tulip trees. As messy as they are, I've always loved them...I see more than a tree shedding it's petals. Beyond this moment I see a tree that continues to grow, and will bloom again and again, all the while knowing its petals will fall. Life. Cycles. I...am more than this moment. Everything goes beyond this moment. Anything goes beyond this moment. Some things aren't meant to last beyond this moment. Some people can't see beyond this moment.

*expressions by Nina B.*

The Son’s Call to Internal Inquisition

So what does that mean? The moment I found out what this epiphany could do to the ego... Make it vanish and evaporate? All in a desperate attempt to relinquish this emotion? I stepped outside myself for once and failed. Ego looks slightly, never completely facing me, to laugh at my misfortune... “Ay Dios mio, su tanto corazone” Expected more from you than self, forced the first among many wrong steps on that dead ending road. Take out the "but" and you have a less than pleasing reality, deal with it. I looked to my right and decided it was time to replace that old crown. Bring a new vision to my manifest destiny, but not in an attempt to plow all those in my way. This one sang glorious songs of progression and growth. Breathe life into goals and ideals set aside specifically for me by the Almighty.

Special; just for me, set aside by the Almighty.
Envisioned a new route. A new way. A new day. A new dawn. Same Son though, this one has never let me down. It continues to nourish my crops, the failure only comes when I neglect my field during the season of reaping. In acknowledging The Son, he adorned me with a new crown. I don't believe my mind is good enough for this. He nestles it comfortably on my head and reassures me that his light shines only for vividly accurate visions. "I'm never wrong."

*Expressions by Nina B.*

Bookmark

That picture of us, black and white in color, but filled with the vivacious auras of joy, laughter and love. I see them clearly. I think I see flickers of hope sprinkled sparingly throughout, but I realize now it wasn't saturated enough to keep it going. Yep, that picture, the one you always wanted copies of; I use it as a bookmark now. Not sure of the significance. I decided it was a wise, unselfish and loving decision to let you go, but I'm not sure why I haven't locked that picture away in my trunk filled with past treasures. I know fully that I can not ask God to release the treasures he's stored up for me, while holding on selfishly to someone else's.
Back to the subject at hand: the bookmark. The wanderlust in me will forever be a bag lady for books: three in the purse, two in the trunk of my car, and that's just what I can recall right now. Flipped through the pages of one, on to the second and cracked open the third, only to see that thread of pictures. I scan each one like it's anew. I've always liked how picture booths can do that, innocently capture fleeting moments, feelings, and emotions that would otherwise go unnoticed. Anyway, in spite of my renewed awe, I decide that I need to purchase a new bookmark today.

*expressions by Nina B.*

To be continued (pt. 1)

Cold winters force a slow and steady pace. Thoughts scurry in and out the brain's loop. Holes. Less sunshine doesn't mean less light. On the contrary, it calls for a retrospect of sorts. Sometimes I feign to be shallow, think less, have less headaches and accept lies shipped out by society as they freight in on the railways of everyday life. Not really confusion, no... Not at all confused. Simply a search for enlightenment that won't cease. The paradigm begs to shift as my subject positioning remains. I am now more equipped to handle the vast array of information presented to me and sort it appropriately. The person within pulled the cord... "stop requested". Hold for a moment as I battle the paralysis...

*expressions by Nina B.*

'08

Ok, so this wasn’t suppose to happen.
Now what?
That moment in time when every THING stands still, and what would seem completely bad turns out not to be (so much). Unnecessary memories fade, you only see today and flashes of tomorrow...next week... next month... next year... the following decades. There’s beauty in this! There’s beauty in this! There’s beauty. In this.

Epiphanies blossom.
Realizations emerge.
Embodied moments.
Regrets denied.
Defeats NOT accepted.
Triumphs indeed.
Non, je ne regrette rien
Endings end.
Beginnings begin.

Thank you for this chance, I owe you more than I know!
Turning point.
*Expressions by Nina B.

Cognitive Dissonance On the Horizon

He enjoyed her heartbeat, it’s bright light shining through all the muck. His or hers? Doesn’t matter... just know that there was muck. The rhythm sporadically called for him in the most soothing way; on one hand intriguingly definite, and on the other confusingly beautiful. Both very aware of the past, knowing one can not move forward without it, she lived for the present and he for the future.

Could they meet within the horizon’s loyal embrace? Earthy Non-conforming Traditionalist meets Windy Religious Innovator. Overall theme to reduce dissonance meant either giving up and justifying how one side was more important than the other or welcoming the idea that the earth and sky operate efficiently together. Shift in attitudes. Breakdown of beliefs used as security blankets. New actions that intertwine present and future. The solution? Yep, it lies jusssssttttt within the horizon. That apparent line that no one has ever been able to reach, but together, somehow, they could.

She lived for the present and he for the future, but both knew moving forward was impossible without the other. She adored his eyes, their bright light shining through all the muck. His or hers? Doesn’t matter... just know that there was muck. They danced joyfully in the midst of both trials and in happiness; on one hand intriguingly definite, and on the other confusingly beautiful.

*Expressions by Nina B.
SN
-Wasn't so sure if I should post this one, but what the hell... some things have to be released into the universe.
- The picture is from '08 in Tampa. I got chased by a flock of seagulls for my sammich (yes, i said sammich) and jet-skied alongside dolphins (I cried in horror initially thinking they were sharks)! ahahaha PERFECT DAY! iLIVE for days like that!

Idiosyncrasy

He described her beauty while gazing blankly at the white clouds. “Round. Curvy. Delicious.” Delicious? “Yea... like ripe fruit. The transformations of her intellect-- dance in and out of consciousness at the perfect times just for entertainment and enjoyment. But her idiosyncrasy seemed so natural, as if she recited this short story time and time again. I don't know if I should love or hate her. Maybe love to her love her? Maybe hate to love her?”

He said...
He said...
He said...

“I love her. I’d love to. Cover her. Breath her. Dream her. Oh yea... I dreamt her ya’ll"
expressions from Nina B.

Brother Time

Denial sat patiently waiting for the sun to shine. Dripping water faucets. Ticking...Tocking...Clocks. TIME BOMBS! Evasive time, nothing promised except that it shall quickly pass; beating down on our very being. Waiting on no one but we seem to be waiting on it.

**he whispered in my ear** Oh I do love waiting.

Here we go again.

**he slid his fingers through my hair ever so gently** I am with you always, but not really for you. It just so happens that I’m everywhere. But don’t go nowhere, nahhhh love... just wait on meeeee. Be complacent. Grey hair, Alzheimer's, old bones and death.
expressions from Nina B.

WanderLUST

This feeling she had since childhood
The rush she got when embarking upon something new always equated never finishing the old. There was a definite desire to roam the world with nothing but a nap sack-- saving those held under the thumb of oppression, with not much more than her bible. That life doesn't exist though, not without some enormous sacrifice.

"If I we're a man, I could totally do that and still end up with a big job and a beautiful family. I mean, the sign CLEARLY reads: most women not welcome"

Continuously parched to fulfill this desire, she roamed in and around things within reason: city to city, job to job. No fulfillment, you know... that feeling you get once you have accomplished something you worked so hard for. As addicted to wanderlust as she was, her desire to accomplish began to supersede.

This silly love affair has to end at some point...right?

expressions from Nina B.

My Axis

If the Earth turns on an axis-- imaginary... then I believe we all have an “Axis”. Not to be touched, only to be understood. Kinda like an invisible backbone; this undeniable thing that no one can break, some folks simply will not be able to see, and others will not believe. Regardless of others, it’s up to us to push forward and evolve whenever necessary to make sure we continue to revolve around it. This is my Evolution. This is my Revolution. This is my "Axis".

Expressions from Nina B.